Dean’s Degrading Defeat
Dean sits in his jail cell reflecting on how he got there, a place he would have never dreamt possible when he was younger. He was convicted of sexually assaulting his ten-year-old daughter. His wife has decided to divorce him. The rest of his family is in shock—and there is no indication that they want anything to do with him. Dean and his wife have been professing Christians for decades. Dean grew up in a staunchly Christian home, and he remembers looking down on other men when they were in a position such as the one he’s in now. He has lost his marriage, his family, his job (as an elementary school teacher), and his freedom. He cannot think of another time in his life that he has felt so alone, so ashamed, so destitute. He doesn’t want to talk to people, because it’s hard to look anyone in the eye. But today he has the opportunity to talk to a prison chaplain. He wonders, “Is it worth it?”
Connecting Dean with Another Story of Defeat
Is it worth it? That’s a great question for Dean and his chaplain to discuss. If you were the chaplain, how would you address Dean’s question? There are multiple ways you could approach this delicate topic with him, but I would suggest one that is “tailor-made” for someone like Dean. It’s a portion of Scripture that lays out the agony of God’s discipline and the hope of His mercy. From this passage of Scripture, Dean can be assured that even when God’s people fall further than they ever thought possible, and the consequences they suffer are far worse than they ever imagined, still His mercy and grace extend as far as they need it.
I am suggesting that you take Dean to the book of Lamentations. There he will hear from several “voices” about how the residents of Jerusalem were subjected to horrific and humiliating consequences for their sin. One of those “voices” is Jerusalem itself, portrayed as a destitute and shamed woman:
“She who was a princess among the provinces
has become a slave” (Lam. 1:1; see also 1:3).
“When her people fell into the hand of the foe,
and there was none to help her,
her foes gloated over her;
they mocked at her downfall” (Lam. 1:7; see also 2:15-16).
There is no question why Jerusalem was suffering as she was; that was clear enough.
“The Lord is in the right,
for I have rebelled against his word” (Lam. 1:18; see also 1:8; 2:14; 4:13).
Jerusalem’s residents had lost everything that was dear to them. In fact, they had lost everything they thought had provided them with an unassailable security. Now their lives were in a complete shambles.
“… and in his fierce indignation has spurned king and priest.
“The Lord has scorned his altar,
disowned his sanctuary …
“her king and princes are among the nations;
the law is no more,
and her prophets find
no vision from the Lord” (Lam. 2:6, 7, 9; see also 4:11, 16, 20; 5:18).
Thus, the people of Jerusalem were left with the burning question: when your sense of security has evaporated and your life is a wreck, where can you turn? That also was the question Dean was not sure how to answer—and could not shake.
Clarifying Dean’s Dilemma
Here then, is the dilemma that both Jerusalem and Dean face: if in fact God is in control (3:37-39), then even though sin warrants His discipline, He still is the only One who can possibly deliver them from their suffering (3:43-50).
But when you’re hurting so much, you can be a bit hesitant about approaching the very God whom you so flippantly offended. That’s why Dean sits in his jail cell wondering if he should even bother meeting with a chaplain. In the past, he had received comfort and counsel from pastors, Sunday school teachers, and his parents. But now the burden of his losses and the sting of his shame nag him. Why should he think God would now bless him?
It is significant that Lamentations, with its detailed descriptions of the agonies the people of Jerusalem experienced, has been preserved for us. Surely part of the reason is to encourage us to be empathetic listeners. If you were Dean’s chaplain, an initial goal would be to do that with him. Do not be quick to dismiss his inner turmoil; draw it out. Find out how far he has gone with his line of reasoning. Listen for how he thinks about God in his thinking right now. From there, you will be in a better position to offer him the new mercies of the Lord, which we will explore in part 2 of this blog.
Question for Reflection
What questions might you use to “draw out” Dean?